Top 10 reasons men have broken up with me

Saturday, May 14, 2016

It’s 7pm on a Friday night and I’m in my pajamas eating French Fries and chicken wings. That’s the kind of day I’ve had.

I have BBQ sauce smeared all over my face and I'm holding back tears as I try to distract myself from another heartbreak. I just received the cursed 'break up text'. This is dating in the modern era, I suppose. But rather than dwelling on that sad situation, I need to make myself laugh. So I've compiled a list of reasons men have broken up with me. Some were painful at the time, but now are just too damn funny not to share!

Top 10 reasons men have broken up with me:

1. I want to date other people
2. I cheated on you
3. It’s not ‘meant to be’ (This is the worst one. I hate attributing a decision to some divine force. Is God really circumventing our agency as a cosmic matchmaker to pair up specific people? I don't think so.)
4. You won’t have sex on the first date
5. You’re too attractive
6. You’re too seductive
7. You’re a bad influence
8. You’re a temptress (OK, these last 4 all came from the same guy. I think he had issues.)
9. You’re not a big enough Radiohead fan (This one was NOT in High School. It came from a man in his late-20’s. And it wasn't that I wasn't a Radiohead fan, it's that I wasn't a BIG ENOUGH Radiohead fan.)
10. No reason

Most of the reasons I've been given are focused on what's wrong with me, which I think is bullshit because I’m a wonderful girlfriend! ☺ But it actually doesn’t matter what specific reason is given, if someone doesn’t want to be with me, then that’s reason enough.

Time to log into the latest dating app...

2 comments:

Kenneth Leung said...

Eek, sorry to hear that. Number 9 though, seriously? That's so high school... :-(

Linda said...

Ha- I know! It turned out he had just kissed my friend and felt guilty and wanted to come up with some other reason to call it off.

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